Then his wife gave a 30 minute speech about how everything good in the newly married couples life was all due to her and her husband. He then forgot to do the 'I Do's' and 'you may kiss your bride.'įlash forward to the reception, the grandfather had time to change clothes and walked in wearing sweat pants and workout shirt. During the ceremony, the grandfather began to glare at the mother of the groom and ferociously exclaimed, 'MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN!' He did this another half dozen times. "It turns out the groom's mother is a lesbian and he was raised by his mother and, for many years, her long-term partner. Then he brashly stated, 'THAT IS THE ONLY TIME YOU WILL HAVE THE UPPER HAND ON MY GRANDDAUGHTER!' He the proceeded to have to stop the ceremony four or five times because he couldn't stop crying." The bride and groom were holding hands, and the officiant told the groom to put his hands on top of his bride's. "I attended a wedding in which the grandfather of the bride was officiating. I really should have taken the MC up on her bet, because they separated after 2 years, got back together, had a baby, then divorced 2 years after that."ġ7. The groom was also a miserable old git who refused to dance, so the bride also didn't get a first dance. The bride's father was a grumpy old git who refused to dance, so the poor bride missed her father-daughter dance while the groom got his mother-son dance.
#This war of mine pure alcohol full
As we were waiting for the couple to arrive, she 'lovingly' referred to the couple as Shrek and The Narwhal, and then pulled out a full on craps style betting mat and began 'jokingly' taking bets from all the guests on how long it would take the couple to get divorced.ĭid I mention how much the groom's family hated the bride? So much so that most of them weren't there, so the groom's sister pissed off a room filled with 90% bride's family and friends. "When we got the reception, the groom's other sister was the MC. All except the groom's mother and two sisters, who remained firmly seated with grouchy looks on their faces." When the bride did show up, the guests stood up as is customary.
The groom's best man pulled out two days before the wedding because he 'didn't know, man.' While we were waiting for the bride to show up for the ceremony, one of the groom's sisters alternated between wailing at her brother not to go ahead, to throwing herself over him and wishing him all the happiness she never got. The bride's family hated the groom, and the groom's family hated the bride. Finally, we got to the reception where the bride insisted on opening every single gift despite her groom telling her it would take too long but it's 'her day.' She got offended that people were leaving in the middle of 'her day' and she had to open every single gift and then publicly thank the person."ġ3. So the entire congregation was just sitting there listening to a six minute rendition of 'The Rose' followed by another five minute rendition of something else. "At the ceremony the bride insisted on playing at least five to six songs all of which where five to six minutes long.
He pitched in and called some of the groomsmen and they got it set up. The groom happened to show up at the church and saw the old ladies trying to drag tables around.
The bride decided that the entire reception could be set up (tables and all) by a couple of elderly ladies.
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